Hotel Soap: The funniest hotel story

Soap Story------------>> The following letters are supposedly taken from an actual incident > between a hotel and one of its guest. > ------------------------------------------------------------------> Dear Maid,>> Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom> since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six> unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another > three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.> Thank you,> S. Berman> -----------------------------------------------> Dear Room 635,>> I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her> day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap> dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way!> and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your> mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions > from the management are to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this> is satisfactory.> Kathy, Relief Maid>>> -----------------------------------------------------------------> Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell> you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got> back to my room this evening, I found you had added 3 little Camays to the> shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for > two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial, so I won't need > those 6 little Camays, which are on the shelf. They are in my way > when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.> Please remove them.> S. Berman> -------------------------------------------> Dear Mr. Berman,>> The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you> called him last evening and said you were unhappy with> your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you> will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any> future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal> attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.> Thank you.> Elaine Carmen> Housekeeper> ---------------------------------------------> Dear Miss Carmen,>> It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for> business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's> the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.> I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about> those little bars soap.> The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check- in> today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine> cabinet, along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf.> In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you> doing this to me ?> S. Berman> ------------------------------------------------> Dear Mr. Berman,>> Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room> and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call> extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5PM.> Thank you,> Elaine Carmen,> Housekeeper> -------------------------------------------------> Dear Mr. Kensedder,>> My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room,> including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and> had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.> S. Berman> --------------------------------------------------> Dear Mr. Berman,>> I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.> I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room> since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they> service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.> Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.> Martin L. Kensedder> Assistant Manager> --------------------------------------------------> Dear Mrs. Carmen,>> Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night> and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. > I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of> soap in here ? All I want is my bath-size Dial.> Please give me back my bath! -size Dial.> S. Berman> ---------------------------------------------------> Dear Mr. Berman,>> You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed. Then> you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing, so I> personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the> 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about > the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know> I had returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the > 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues > bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left> in your room.> Elaine Carmen> Housekeeper> ----------------------------------------------------> Dear Mrs. Carmen,>> Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. > As of today I possess :> On the shelf under the medicine cabinet -18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1> stack of 2.> On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.> On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4> hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.> Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.> In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On the northeast corner of> the tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.> On the northwest corner of the tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.>> Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are> neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that> stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my> bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for > future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar > of bath-size Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to > avoid further misunderstandings.> S. Berman>>*----------------------------

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An interesting hotel story at this link. Enjoy.